How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Randomize