I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
