Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
