its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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