he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
