dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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