You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
