You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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