K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize