Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
