I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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