hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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