i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
