don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How does it feel to date your dad?
i think i just lost a toe
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
