I hope mine doesn't look like that
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
