Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
