the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You pole danced in your parka.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
