the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
