Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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