i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
