lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
