i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
