Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
