You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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