last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
