I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
