I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize