tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
