she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
sarcasm needs its own font
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
