hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
