I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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