You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
