We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
