I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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