Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
