a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
