I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
