True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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