Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
