fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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