You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He better not be in your backpack
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
