...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
