I never want to see another naked old woman again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
