I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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