at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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