I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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