No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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