He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Randomize
