You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
