My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
