the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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