OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
