U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
