Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
