Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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