Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
