The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
