i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
someone owes me an orgasm
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
