oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
