Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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