I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He felt like a one man threesome
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
