haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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