Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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