i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am one with the molecules
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
