I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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